I’ve become really picky with my toys, especially my strokers. I forget that I work at The Pleasure Chest and get a sexy discount and free toys sometimes, so I need to check my ego. Not everyone can afford a $100 toy for jacking off, so I need to speak to the masses. Where do we get our cheap handjobs! The Climax Gems Emerald Stroker is about $20 so it’s a good place to start.

This green blob is made of super soft and squishy CyberSkin. Now anyone that knows me knows my love/hate relationship with CyberSkin. Sure it usually feels good when lubed up, but the maintenance required to keep it from deteriorating and literally MELTING is just obnoxious to me. But again we are on a budget this round and we can’t afford the “better” lower-maintenance materials, so let’s ignore that for now and focus on performance.

I had a really weird day on Saturday. All I did was watch porn. Not jack off or anything at first, just watch it. I watched Pirates 2 for the first time and loved it. Pirates — for those who aren’t aware — is probably one of the most successful straight porns ever made. The sequel was so much better though.

Anyway I decided I should probably jack off at some point so as not to be “that creepy guy in apartment 3B that we can always hear watching porn,” and I used this opportunity to give the Climax Gem a go-go.

I lubed it up with some Maximus after fluffing myself to Not the Bradys XXX (James Deen is so flippin’ hot). One thing I don’t like about some strokers is you have to shove the lube deep into the tunnel in order to get it slippery all the way through. I found squirting some in the hole and then finger blasting it help a bit, but still..annoying.

I was sure that my lubed hand would make this toy hard to control but I was wrong. I had a firm grip on it and fucked it nice and hard. The inside of the toy has a series of ribs that feel kinda nice, especially when you give it a firm squeeze towards the head of your dick.

It made a weird sound that I enjoyed because I am a child. Because of the tapered shape of the hole, while fucking it I kept hearing a noise that sounded like a slide-whistle! Whee!

When watching porn I like to time my load with the porn stars money shot but I wasn’t going to make it this time — I blew right into the Climax Gem 4 minutes too soon. Grr!

While I sat there climaxing I had to STOP jacking all together. The sleeve was so tight and had so many stimulators inside, the slightest move drove me crazy. I’d love to tie someone up and jack them off with this just to watch them squirm like I did!

So alright, the toy felt just fine. I think there are better ones out there, but it does the job and it feels good, and anything that can make me say to myself “DON’T TOUCH IT. DON’T MOVE IT” for such a low price has to be worth at least a go. Just keep in mind to store this toy away from other toys and pick up some CyberSkin Renew to keep its texture nice and fuckable. Happy jackin’!

Climax Gems Emerald Stroker provided by The Pleasure Chest. You can support TheINQUEERY by purchasing one from the online shop for about $17.

Tomorrow at 8PM I will be facilitating the infamous Blow-jobs and Beyond workshop here in New York at The Pleasure Chest. It’s free and lots of fun if you find yourself with nothing better to do than wish a snowman really would give you head in a heat wave like this. RSVP on the Facebook page and share with your friends and lovers. Come early as this workshop tends to fill up fast. See you there!

Time is running out to buy calendar days for the 2011 Sex Blogger calendar featuring me, and now I have a little extra something to help entice you to support it.

For each calendar day you buy, you are entered in for a chance to win one of my very favorite jock straps signed by me. I have had this old boy for a good number of years and I’ll be sad to see it go, so whoever wins has to promise to send me periodic photos of you wearing it.

I can’t promise that it will be very clean as I don’t intend to wash it and the stitching is coming out at a few places, BUT it is in excellent condition considering what many men have put it through!

To enter go to the Sex Blogger Calendar website and buy either one or several calendar days. With your day you get an 80 character message which will appear in the calendar. I encourage you to use those 80 characters to tell me what you want to do with me.

One day is only $25 and supports the Woodhull Freedom Foundation. They have some special bundle offers if you’d like to enter more than once. When purchasing type in UNDERWEAR BRANDON B in the comments field and you’re all set! One lucky winner will receive this signed jock in the mail in a package hot off my package. Sniff, I will miss you. So many memories in this thing…

If you win, send me pics of you and I’ll jack off into the jock looking at pictures of you. :)

For more pictures of me in my jock keep reading. Good luck!

Given your blog and unique perspective on sexual ethic I have a bit of a strange question for you.

My boyfriend and I have been taking things at an absolutely glacial pace. Slow even by the standards of heterosexual born-again christian america. Over the course of the last six weeks we’ve had no penetrative sex whatsoever and only one instance of non-penetrative sexual contact. He has a history of abuse in early adolescence and no real adult relationship experience of substance on his resume so far, so I was more than happy to oblige his requests to wait until he felt ready to trust me in that department.

Yesterday, he confessed to me that he no longer had any desire to have sex of any kind…with me or anyone else. That he had taken on a new sexual identity of sexually-asexual-with-homosexual-attraction-and-relationship-tendencies. Which frankly sucks out loud as far as I’m concerned. Also, I can’t exactly take that seriously as it seems a blatant contradiction in megahyphenated terms.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t resist kicking his ass to the curb so fast that he wouldn’t realize anything happened until a week and a half later, but he is one of the most emotionally supportive motherfuckers I’ve ever met in my life.

Question: does this situation have any chance at a decent resolution or is this shit completely doomed? Is that self diagnosis as asexual et.al., a step forward or a step back?

Brandon B.:

As I always warn, these are just my opinions. I am not a therapist, just a certified ethical slut.

For starters, your situation isn’t a unique one. A lot of people who date those who have been through some form of sexual abuse that has affected them to a crippling degree have it rough. You’ve made a decision, either consciously or not, to accept certain challenges in your relationship for the sake of being with someone who makes you happy for whatever reason.

I view all good relationships as contracts. Person A brings this to the relationship, Person B brings that, and they accept that they are to expect those things of the other person.

If Person B then modifies the “contract”, Person A has the right to re-negotiate. Now, this can take many forms.

If you think he would be open to you seeking sexual satisfaction with someone else, as it is a need of yours and he should respect that, then you can consider having a semi-open relationship — one where you are free to hook up physically with someone else but not emotionally.

If either you or he isn’t comfortable with that, then you have a situation on your hands that needs to be handled sooner rather than later.

He has made a decision that affects your personal happiness in a relationship. If he isn’t thus willing to make compromises for you to find that happiness elsewhere, then it wouldn’t be fair to you to stay in that relationship. You would become frustrated and irritated with your dynamic, and possibly end up cheating to satisfy it, causing even more problems.

If you are serious about this person then I would offer the opinion (keeping in mind that I am a stranger who doesn’t know you or him at all) that he is definitely in need of therapy. If a physical trauma is affecting him to this day, he is repressing a lot of emotions and they are affecting his life in some deeply negative ways. I don’t know that he is actually asexual, but rather thinks that he is choosing a path that aids him in avoiding confronting his demons. If you guys are close and you care about him enough to do so, you can try to encourage that he attend therapy to deal with his past. Bringing this topic up should be done compassionately and carefully though so as not to hurt his feelings or shame him.

It definitely warrants a conversation vs “kicking his ass to the curb”, especially if you care about him. If he isn’t willing to compromise given the fact that he has changed your relationship in this deeply important way, then maybe his emotional support should come in the form of friendship rather than a relationship.

I’ve said it many times before, I love when sex products are playful. They are sex toys, after all. A bottle of lube that comes in a prescription bottle? I’m on board. I am also a fan of the potentially cheesey jokes that can be made about it (“Have a headache? Well I have just the thing to soothe your throbbing head… *wink wink*”)

Get it? “Head” “ache”? Ok whatever, you’ll get it later.

DJ Prescription lube is Hypoallergenic for those with sensitive skin. It’s also glycerin and paraben free, which is also good. The list of benefits that it beats its chest about go on and on, though one of them stands out as kinda disgusting to me. See if you can guess which one curdled my man-milk:

- Preservative free!

- Contains Vitamin E and Andiroba Oil, know for its anti-inflammatory and anti-allergic properties!

- Strong moisturization and hydration!

- No need to wash after use!

- Non staining!

If you guessed “No need to wash after use” you are most correct. What the hell!? What kind of nasty bastard wouldn’t wash his hand after jacking off with lube? I am never touching another pole on the subway ever again.

Ignore my germaphobe reaction to the post self-coitus hand staining and let’s focus on the motion of the lotion.

This lube is really drippy and has the consistency of semen, basically. It’s milky and thin and slick. I was concerned about how thin it felt, despite feeling slick, because this usually means that it’s going to dry up fast.

But I was wrong! I was jacking off to some video that a stranger online sent me of him jacking off and found that Doc Johnson’s Prescription lube was slick and felt great and required little to no reapplication. Just what the doctor ordered! *wink wink* Ok no more cheesey jokes, sorry.

So alright, nice going Doc Johnson! For only $7 this makes a really great inexpensive lube to jack off with. I wouldn’t use this for anal anything, but it lasts long on the dick and feels great, and it’s safe to say that it would be safe to overdose!

Doc Johnson Prescription Natural Lube provided by SexToy.com.  You can buy it and other fun Lubricants from their online shop!

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #18? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Editor’s Note: A little change in how things are done for this edition – you’ll notice there are no “Top 3″ picks – due in part to the holiday I ended up being extremely short on judges and I didn’t have enough for fair voting. So instead, I expanded my “Featured Post”. (If you’d like to volunteer to be an occasional judge for e[lust], just email me, Lilly, at questions.e.lust @ gmail.com) Also, please be sure to check out the new summer schedule in effect until the 20th edition.

~ Featured Posts (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Why Pride is Still Important – When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help but believe that they go through life with tunnel vision. I live in New York where for the most part I can walk around being a big ol’ queen and I’ll make it home alive, but there are people who live in places where they can’t. Even here in New York you’ll get called a faggot from time to time by passing cars or groups of punks, and even here in New York I hear stories of people getting the shit kicked out of them just because they were gay.

Fantasies and Condoms – Our culture has created a narrative in which sex only feels good and looks sexy if no one is protected. We’re all suffering from this narrative, but sex workers are probably suffering the most.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Some days we need a little hope – I encourage you to practice random acts of kindness that could be worthy of inclusion on the site (GivesMeHope.com). Be nice, be caring, let your heart open up just for the sake of bringing someone some happiness or comfort. Do you know how good it feels to just give?

See also: Pleasurists #83 and #84 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

An Anal Adventure
Bound in the Night
Being a Tart
Danger may explode without warning
Found It: Pearls for the Submissive Wife
Morning Rituals
Shoe Slut
(another!) Shoe Slut
Spanking my ass while fucking so he feels every wiggle
Submission is impossible in the absence of humanity
Strip, boy
Swallow Falls
The Trigger
The Beast with Three Backs

Erotic Writing

A long hot day
And then we kissed…
A Picture of Lust
Ass Plug
‘Come For Me…’
Depths
Exchange II
Forbidden Fantasy
Fucking Mika for the first time
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
Getting Off…On The Road
Katie’s First Time
Master Class
My Favourite Waste of Time
Microfantasy Monday, week 84: Addiction
Picture to Word 2
Sociable
Saturday Night Plans
Safe Sex
The Train
Thunderstorms are Sexy
Teaching Respect (Part 1)
You First

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Adventures in Birth Control
Erotic Awakening: A Swinger’s Comments
Friends With Benefits His Lush Behind!
Getting Started – Hotel Parties
Greetings From The Deep End – Swinging and Openness
How To Have Multiple Orgasms
Mr. Strong
Play Safe. Stay Safe. Get Tested. Be Protected.
Political Cuddling: Asking, Talking, Touching
Reflections on Glass
Something I Wish I’d Had 10 Years Ago
Sex: A required part of the college curriculum
Shades of Grey
Three’s Company
Ten Life Lessons I’m Learning from Enslavement
Uncomfortable
Walk of Shut The Fuck Up

Sex News, Interviews, Politics and Humor

Interview with Scarlett Chaos aka Essin’Em
The Media is Not Responsible for Your Poor Body Image
To Shave or Not to Shave

#catladiesoftomorrow

As I mentioned, the Tenga Black Flip Hole is supposed to be tighter, and this is accomplished by a completely new interior pictured here:

Tell me that doesn’t look like an Anime version of the movie Teeth and I’ll buy you a Coke you fuckin’ liar.

Never fear though! The inside of the Black Flip Hole is just as soft and squishy as it’s predecessor. It retains the other positive attributes of its brother as well: three buttons on the side which when pressed increase the tightness to the area selected and an opening case that allows for easy lube application and clean up.

So how does it feel?

I applied about twelve gallons of one of my favorite jack-off lubes, Sliquid Sassy, to the entire interior. With masturbation sleeves, using lots of lube is key to avoid uncomfortable friction.

I queued up some porn and starting playing with myself pretending that I was the “little bitch. You slutty little bitch!” that was getting nailed in the vid. Once I was nice and firm I slid my cock into the Flip Hole, and YUP this thing is indeed tighter! At first I thought it might be too tight, but then within a few strokes I started to feel the benefits.

You can totally feel every curve, bend, and texture inside of this thing. Much better than the typical rhythmic repeating patterns of most sleeves, each stroke acted like a hot wet blowjob if the person’s tongue were firmer and could move like a snake. That may be the weirdest thing I’ve ever typed but I’m leaving it.

It’s hard to last long while jacking off with this little beast! The texture and the tightness combined was getting me to the point of cumming a lot faster than I was used to with other sleeves!

Something I have learned with a lot of sex toys is the real pleasure occurs when you cum. Typically when I cum I slow my stroke down severely, but this time I wanted to see what it would be like to keep my pace and jack off through the orgasm.

I wish I had recorded it because as I started to cum and jack myself harder my entire body collapsed forward. Cumming with this thing riding my dick was so intense my entire face contorted into a hilarious orgasmic jumble of embarrassing expressions. I can safely say that of all the sleeves I’ve ever used, this was the most intense experience.

If you think that sleeves in general are a waste of time and don’t really do anything for you, then this mean toy is for you. The tightness combined with the ease of use and cleaning make it probably the best jack off sleeve on the market. Yeah I said it!

Tenga Flip Hole Black provided by and available at The Pleasure Chest. You can also support The INQUEERY by purchasing one online at my online toy store!

Follow TheINQUEERY on Facebook or be a creep and follow me on Twitter to stay in the loop on future reviews!

The time has come!

Earlier this month I had announced that I was selected as a model for the 2011 Sex Blogger calendar. Well now you are able to pre-order your copy for a discounted price!

On top of that, you are able to help support the Woodhull Freedom Foundation by purchasing a day in the calendar. By purchasing days, you are able to include an 80 character message of your choosing. I encourage you to buy a day and use it to flirt with me. I really am as easy as I look, it would totally work.

They have some special package combos so check them out. Also, please mark October 1st on your current boring calendar, as it is the official launch party where you can come and mingle with myself and the other sexy models!

For details on how to purchase your calendar and/or days, please visit the Sex Blogger Calendar website.

I have never been able to attend a New York Pride because my boss always made me work in the store, which is ironic because I was always the one who actively fought for equal rights between the two of us. Last year was even worse because we actually had a float for the first time in the parade which I specifically said I wanted to be on and I still had to work. This was the middle-finger equivalent of sticking a thousand dicks in my eye. Well this year was different because I was in charge, so I finally got to celebrate Pride, which is an annual event that is very important to me. Leading up to the march I found myself hearing people saying things that really surprised me when asked what they were doing for Pride. Stop the turnip truck, because when someone says “I don’t think Pride is necessary anymore,” I take issue!

For the sake of argument I am going to refer to this evening I spent with this one guy a “date”. This someone was, for all intents and purposes, a bad Joan Rivers act incarnate. He was from some hee-haw state that I didn’t commit to memory. He was the type of person who explains retail experiences with rude customers and how clever they were when they were rude back, in a show of “aren’t I a bad ass?!” chest-beating. His sense of humor was very angsty, he complained at one point that New Yorkers were “idiots” who didn’t think he was funny, but insisted that he was actually hilarious and stated “If my friend from back home was here we’d show everyone! We’d show everyone here that my jokes are actually funny!”

As my eyes were rolling across the floor he continued to make a fool of himself, but I was nice about it because it was clear that he had a very strong sense about himself based on a whole lot of nothing and it would have been mean to point it all out to him at once. Kinda like how you don’t wake up someone who’s sleep walking.

I had to interject, however, when I asked him what he was doing for Pride weekend and his response was:

“Oh, I don’t believe in Pride. I’m a proud person all the time, I don’t need it. And I am strong, and I feel like those people who are weak need Pride, but I don’t need it anymore.”

I like when people say things that are outlandishly stupid so nonchalantly.

I carry a fortune-cookie paper around in my wallet that reads “Only fools and dead men don’t change their minds. Fools won’t and dead men can’t.” I won’t say that it makes me mad when people take this stance against Pride, but I will say it is irritating, and furthermore frustrating at how many gays actually do hold this opinion and stick to it. I can only explain why it is important to me and hope that others take a moment to examine their own opinions.

When I was 16 my mom came to me and told me that my dad had been going through my sent e-mails on AOL (LOL @ AOL). He found what you would expect to find in any hot-blooded gay teen’s outbox (a whole lot of “Can we meet so you can stick it in my outbox?”). I went to my dad and simply said “I heard you were reading my e-mail.” Immediately he got angry and flustered and all he could say was “If you are gay, just don’t ever tell me” and left the room. It was then that I realized I would never be able to truly talk to my dad about my life because he couldn’t even discuss a factor of myself without completely shutting down. Being a huge loner as a kid I thus had nobody to talk to, and for a long time wondered if taking my own life would be the solution. Fortunately I am a pussy when it comes to pain so I never attempted anything, but the same couldn’t be said for my younger sister.

As I left first period in high school one morning I saw my sister’s friend carrying my sister in her arms towards my class. “She just showed up and collapsed!” she told me, and handed her over to me. My younger sister’s body was shockingly lifeless and light, it didn’t feel like there was anything inside her but air. I ran to the nurses office where we summoned an ambulance and left for the hospital.

They made her drink several large cups of charcoal to flush out her system. The nurses explained to me that it had been a suicide attempt and that my sister had taken a massive overdose of my mother’s anti-depressant medication. She was going to be ok though.

I sat by my sister’s hospital bed while she was slowly coming down off of the high. She was conscious now, but very stoned, and couldn’t stop telling me knock-knock jokes. I smiled and laughed because it’s what she needed, and frankly it’s what I needed too, but as she told me these jokes I looked at her and felt a tremendous amount of guilt. My sister was obviously a lesbian and was bullied at school on a daily basis like myself, but I had never reached out to her to talk about it. I had basically closed off to her the way my dad had to me, and worse I had taken a lot of my baggage out on her. I felt, for the first time ever, like a horrible person.

My sister survived and to date we have a very strong relationship. She is actually coming out to visit me in September from Los Angeles. She got her act together and now is a very strong person with a very nice job that she is great at and lives a very free lifestyle as an open lesbian.

Pride is a lot of things. It’s a celebration, a statement, a distraction. It is one of the only parties out there that is focused on being all-inclusive. You’ll see every type of person either in the march or watching it. People from all walks of life come together and line the streets, all supporting the same message; “We are proud.”

When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help but believe that they go through life with tunnel vision. I live in New York where for the most part I can walk around being a big ol’ queen and I’ll make it home alive, but there are people who live in places where they can’t. Even here in New York you’ll get called a faggot from time to time by passing cars or groups of punks, and even here in New York I hear stories of people getting the shit kicked out of them just because they were gay.

When I first started The INQUEERY I read two articles, two months apart, about two separate boys, both who had hung themselves because of anti-gay bullying. One was 11 years old.

The article revealed some very sad statistics:

Nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT youth (86.2%) reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation, nearly half (44.1%) reported being physically harassed and about a quarter (22.1%) reported being physically assaulted, according to GLSEN’s 2007 National School Climate Survey of more than 6,000 LGBT students.

In most cases, the harassment is unreported. Nearly two-thirds of LGBT students (60.8%) who experience harassment or assault never reported the incident to the school. The most common reason given was that they didn’t believe anything would be done to address the situation. Of those who did report the incident, nearly a third (31.1%) said the school staff did nothing in response.

Pride represents people being comfortable in their own skin, what ever skin it is that they choose to wear. It is a symbol across the nation to people of all ages that it gets better, and that there are other people like you. Pride for many LGBTQ youth is a symbol of hope — a yearly event where they know they can go and walk around being themselves and not have to be afraid of the consequences. Pride is important, even for people who are strong and comfortable in their own skin, because for some people it’s all they have — your body in a crowd, your face in a photograph, your cheers on a TV screen.

So yes there are twinks walking around in their American Apparel briefs, and there are thousands of men in drag and make-up. You’ll see bears in chaps and dykes-on-bikes, but you’ll also see plain clothes persons of various colors, gender identifications, and ages. You’ll see straight allies, proud parents and siblings, couples with children in love who want to get married. You see people from all walks of life, walks that you may not interact with, who have all come together for this one day to fight oppression with celebration.If that symbol were to only nurture one person and save only one life, wouldn’t that still make it worth it?

When I go to Pride, I don’t see weak people. I see warriors.

What do you see?

*Several photos courtesy Krys Fox Photography

Jokes on them!

I was interviewed for a very cool website called The Beautiful Kind — a site full of kinky stories and sex advice. Check out the interview here and leave comments about how you’ve all slept with me and how good my butt tastes.