On the 26th of July I held my monthly Blowjob workshop and it was a gushing wet blast! Every time I do it more and more people show up and it warms me heart. I was talking about masturbation sleeves at one point and saw a sea of confusion wash over everyone’s face. I paused and took a quick poll; “How many here have never heard of a masturbation sleeve before?” I was shocked when almost the entire room raised their hands! I guess I have more work to do, and how timely. I was just given this glowing green goodness called the Climax Gems Emerald Stroker to review. Let’s see how it measures up!
I’ve become really picky with my toys, especially my strokers. I forget that I work at The Pleasure Chest and get a sexy discount and free toys sometimes, so I need to check my ego. Not everyone can afford a $100 toy for jacking off, so I need to speak to the masses. Where do we get our cheap handjobs! The Climax Gems Emerald Stroker is about $20 so it’s a good place to start.
This green blob is made of super soft and squishy CyberSkin. Now anyone that knows me knows my love/hate relationship with CyberSkin. Sure it usually feels good when lubed up, but the maintenance required to keep it from deteriorating and literally MELTING is just obnoxious to me. But again we are on a budget this round and we can’t afford the “better” lower-maintenance materials, so let’s ignore that for now and focus on performance.
I had a really weird day on Saturday. All I did was watch porn. Not jack off or anything at first, just watch it. I watched Pirates 2 for the first time and loved it. Pirates — for those who aren’t aware — is probably one of the most successful straight porns ever made. The sequel was so much better though.
Anyway I decided I should probably jack off at some point so as not to be “that creepy guy in apartment 3B that we can always hear watching porn,” and I used this opportunity to give the Climax Gem a go-go.
I lubed it up with some Maximus after fluffing myself to Not the Bradys XXX (James Deen is so flippin’ hot). One thing I don’t like about some strokers is you have to shove the lube deep into the tunnel in order to get it slippery all the way through. I found squirting some in the hole and then finger blasting it help a bit, but still..annoying.
I was sure that my lubed hand would make this toy hard to control but I was wrong. I had a firm grip on it and fucked it nice and hard. The inside of the toy has a series of ribs that feel kinda nice, especially when you give it a firm squeeze towards the head of your dick.
It made a weird sound that I enjoyed because I am a child. Because of the tapered shape of the hole, while fucking it I kept hearing a noise that sounded like a slide-whistle! Whee!
When watching porn I like to time my load with the porn stars money shot but I wasn’t going to make it this time — I blew right into the Climax Gem 4 minutes too soon. Grr!
While I sat there climaxing I had to STOP jacking all together. The sleeve was so tight and had so many stimulators inside, the slightest move drove me crazy. I’d love to tie someone up and jack them off with this just to watch them squirm like I did!
So alright, the toy felt just fine. I think there are better ones out there, but it does the job and it feels good, and anything that can make me say to myself “DON’T TOUCH IT. DON’T MOVE IT” for such a low price has to be worth at least a go. Just keep in mind to store this toy away from other toys and pick up some CyberSkin Renew to keep its texture nice and fuckable. Happy jackin’!
Climax Gems Emerald Stroker provided by The Pleasure Chest. You can support TheINQUEERY by purchasing one from the online shop for about $17.
