My peen has seen many’a lube, and it has a wealth of lube-wisdom. Something that it realized a while back was that although there are tons of different types of lubricants, their differences case by case can sometimes be very minute, and in some cases not all that unique. You’ve got your thin water-base, your thick gel, your hybrid water/silicone silk, your oil, your silicone, etc etc… But I have heard of a lube that is unlike any other lube on the market for years now called Probe. We used to carry it at The Pleasure Chest in New York but I never got to try it. Recently, we got word that we were able to order it again, so I decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about.
I am a Taurus, and I think that means I like pretty things. Things that are aesthetically pleasing to the eye make me happy because I am a superficial tramp. Well Probe is the hottest 99¢-store-shampoo-bottle looking mess I have ever seen. It looks like someone emptied out some Pert Plus, printed out a sticker to cover the label and then refilled the bottle. I know there’s a recession and all but really Probe? You couldn’t hire one straight out of design school scrub to give you a few pointers with the packaging?
Anyway…Probe is a water-based lubricant. It contains vegetable glycerin, polyethylene oxide, and grapefruit seed extract, so it’s easy to clean up and ideal for oral, jerking off, or toys.
I must say, they weren’t kidding when they said it felt like no other lubricant on the market, because it doesn’t feel or even look like a lube. It feels and looks like pre-cum! This lube is super-slick and semi-thick, but has a really really stringy viscosity. Everyone that I talk to at the store thinks it looks disgusting, but I kinda have a thing for pre-cum so I thought that was great! Of course they said it looked less like pre-cum and more like snot, and yeah I guess that might seem a little nasty…
I got to jerking and Probe felt reeeeally good! I was surprised, but then when I thought about it some more it made sense that it worked well. When giving head or handjobs, using the other persons pre-cum (or even your own) to lube up the head of their dick always makes for a much slicker ride and feels great.
Probe didn’t seem to last for longer, drawn out jerk-off sessions, but it did last a good long time and was fun to reapply. It was like having Michael Lucas spitting all over me.
I can’t imagine using this for anal, but it works great for blowjobs if you are into making a mess. It doesn’t have any nasty flavor which is excellent, and the stringy gooey nature of Probe makes for some hot looking slobbering mouths. Maybe that’s a little too pornstar of me, but I love the sloppy look of someone’s mouth while they’re sucking me off. (Mom, if you still read my blog, please never bring that last line up in conversation with me…)
Overall I think Probe lives up to its fame and is an excellent inexpensive lubricant for jerking off, toys and blowjobs. If you can get over how it looks and give it a try, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Probe provided by and available at The Pleasure Chest New York. You can support TheINQUEERY by purchasing it from the online store in either an 8oz or 2.5oz size.
