Every year around this time I have to listen to people whine about Valentine’s Day for one reason or another. People bitch about being single or rant about how it’s just another holiday created by the greeting card company and blah blah blah poop. People need to chill with all that. Holidays are our way of breaking up the monotony of the year so as not to go ape shit and beat the crap out of each other with claw hammers. The only holiday that should ever ACTUALLY matter to you is your birthday, all the other stuff is just fluff to enjoy, so stop over thinking it and buy me some fuckin’ flowers already.
I for one love Valentine’s Day. It’s a holiday that celebrates that there is someone in your life who’s face is foine enough to sit on from time to time. It’s totally celebrating sex, in it’s own pretending-you-really-like-him-for-his-personality kinda way.
I’ve made a short list of some sexy stuff to get your special someone this year. If you don’t have a special someone, well you always have me, and I will accept any and all of the following!
For Your Nymphomation Toy Case
I recently finally bought curtains to hang in my apartment. Mind you I have been here since September. I have been trying to make small improvements to the appearance of my place so it’s not so weird when people come over, and these For Your Nymphomation cases will come in handy because right now my toys and lube are just scattered everywhere. Great to keep next to your bed to store your lube, dildos, condoms, buttplugs, massage oils, whatever. They come in a good range of sizes and colors too, and right now if you use promo code VDAY2010 you will get 20% off any purchase of $40 or more. Neat! Prices range from $9 – $250 depending on case and size, http://www.foryournymphomation.com
Designer Cock Rings
Cue up Single Ladies, cuz if you want it then you better put a ring on it! I’m so funny.
The very lovely people at Coco de Mer are offering some sexy cockrings this year. Check out their awesome selection of high-end cock rings, including the Black Pearl Cockring and Engraved Jade Cockring. I’ll take one of each! Prices range from $40 – $360 depending on model, CocoDeMerUSA.com
Custom Nesting Dolls
The people at SHAG in Brooklyn have a very cool item that I think would be so cute to give! You are instructed to take five photos of yourself, each time removing a layer of clothing. The images of you stripping are then put onto these nesting dolls. So sexy! For $60 they will also do the photography for you in an hour-long in-house session. The last day to order them is the 11th so hop to it! $120 + $60 optional photographer, weloveshag@gmaile.com or 347.721.3302
Indulgence Aphrodisiac Chocolates
One of my favorite places on earth is the Museum of Sex, and they have a fancy new online store! One of the things that caught my eye was the nicely presented Indulgence Aphrodisiac Chocolates. Indulgence is a decadent blend of the highest quality Valrhona chocolate and silky caramel infused with Shichimi Togarashi — a 400-year old Japanese aphrodisiac blend of red chili pepper, ginger root, orange zest, and black peppercorn. Eat these off of my ass NOW. Prices range from $12.50 – $36 for the 5-piece and 15-piece sets, MoSexStore.com
