A couple weeks back I was wandering around the store tapping my chin with one musing finger, attempting to decide which toy to review next. It just so happened that Lauren Wilkinson, who is obsessed with me, happened to be working and had a few requests to make. “Please review this!” she blurted enthusiastically as she handed me the Grand Prix Stroker Pump. I had seen this pump in the store many a’time before but had honestly never even paid much attention to it. I assumed it was crap, but decided to give it a go.
I am a very sex positive thinker, and I really don’t like to think that anything that makes people feel good is bad. However, this toy is just ridiculous. I understand what they were trying to accomplish when they designed it, but it is the result of several ideas and a $40 budget.
The Grand Prix Stroker Pump does many things! For starters, this masturbator is automated so it does the stroking for you in a mechanical up-down-up motion that replicates a robot sucking you off as well as any toy could. If you have a fetish for bizarre, inhuman head, maybe you would like this!
It also has a pretty strong vibration that can be controlled with a dimmer switch on the 4 C-battery holding remote. The vibration is pretty strong and carries throughout the entire toy. The noise of the vibration combined with the robotic stroking also makes this toy one of the loudest things I have ever come across.
But that’s not all! The Grand Prix also comes with an optional pump — which creates a tight suction within the stroker itself! This wouldn’t be such a bad idea if the material that the pump was made out of wasn’t a cheap wannabe cyberskin/jelly rubber combo.
I couldn’t even use this toy all the way through. I really gave it my all. But having it sit there on your cock and watching it do the work of an automated hooker was just too inhuman and boring. The loud noise it made was laughable. At one point I even called my friend and told him “Listen to this toy I’m reviewing…” I could hear his LOLs all the way from California.
If you want a good masturbator, try the COLT Power Stroker. Or anything else, really. This is probably the worst toy I have ever played with, but it would make a good gag gift.
Grand Prix Stroker Pump can now be purchased from our discreet online store at SexToyFun! It is also currently being carried here in New York at The Pleasure Chest. Don’t forget your coupon!
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If there is a toy that you’d be interested in me reviewing before you drop the cash on it, please e-mail your suggestion to mebrandonb@gmail.com!
Just bought this, used it once and it isn’t worth it. Feels fake bc of the type of goodyear rubber they used. The vibration is good, suction is wild, but the stroking thet could have done without. There’s no point of it being on there.