B,
I am uncut and I love to bottom, but I have tried to top a few times in the past but it hurt like hell! I read your piece about being versatile but I don’t get how I am able to top somebody if it’s going to just end up hurting me. Is there anything I can do to numb the pain? Or is there maybe something wrong with me?
Ahh you lucky bastard. I wish so bad that my parents never had me circumcised. Not only are uncut cocks hot, they are extra sensitive — which is the problem you are most likely encountering. But before I get into the details of that, I will suggest the first logical suggestion; go to a doctor and make sure you are healthy and not possibly suffering from an infection or something.
And for those of you who think uncut is gross, you really need to get over that. An uncut dick is an excellent source of pleasure for the party involved and can lead the way to some hot sessions in bed.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way, there is no sure fire way to answer this, because it can be a series of several of events, one in particular, or possibly a combination of several.
Foreskin is meant to protect the head of the penis from excessive contact and chafing. It protects this sensitive part of the male anatomy which would, without the foreskin, become more and more desensitized over time. The foreskin acts as a barrier between the sensitive head of the penis and outside influences such as your underwear which over time would decrease the amount of sensation that it is capable of feeling.
So now that we are aware that the head of your penis is more senstive than that of individuals such as myself, we need to discuss the various things to keep in mind when you are trying to fuck somebody.
Lube
The right lube is uber imperitive. Water bases are great for some people, but water based lubes tend to dry up or get tacky as you use them. This tacky, sticky feeling would thus lend itself to some uncomfortable topping, since the stickiness of the lube would end up creating an abrasive sensation against the head of your penis. I always tell people about my favorite lube for anal sex, but there are lots of other silicone based lubricants out there that would eliminate this being a factor. There are over 200 grades of silicone lubricant on the market and they all have different textures, viscosities and prices, so try a few small sized ones out and see which one you prefer. Everybodies body is different and will be happy with different things.
Latex Allergies
A lot of people are actually allergic to latex, which as most people know is what a majority of condoms are made of. A latex allergy can make someone feel a burning or uncomfortable itching/stinging sensation, and it’s possible that you might be suffering from this assuming you used a condom (I certainly hope you did!). There are some non-latex condoms that you can give a try if you feel this is the case. Avanti makes some polyurethane condoms that are decent, and Lifestyles makes one called Skyn that I think are actually pretty nice.
Relaxing the Booty
I’m a huge advocate for forplay when it comes to anal, especially because of the pain it can cause the recipient without it. I dicussed methods for anal forplay here, and it is possible that you aren’t loosening your partner enough before attempting to penetrate him. A tighter hole means a tighter fit around your dick, which means a tighter squeeze on what is the most sensitive part of your anatomy. Give that article a read and make sure you aren’t rushing the gun on the whole situation.
Nerves of Butter
I know this might sound a little farfetched but it’s really not. Nerves can severely affect ones pleasure and satisfaction when it comes to anything sexually related. In this case, being nervous about topping a partner can affect your general satisfaction of the experience for whatever reason — you’re so used to being a bottom you’re afraid you might not be “good” at topping, you’re anticipating the pain that you experienced before, or maybe your dynamic and chemistry with this person isn’t really making you feel like the top in the party, etc. Relax, chill out, if you’re nervous about your performance then don’t force it. Being nervous about an experience can kill your buzz, so to speak, and make your more sensitive in all the wrong ways.
T.T.D.R. (Treat That Dick Right)
A lot of people don’t know how to treat an uncut penis. Especially if they themselves are circumcised. There are several words I could say that would probably make you cringe; facial hair, teeth, fast-jerking motions, etc. If your partner is doing something that is making you feel uncomfortable down there and possibly adding to the pain you might be feeling, it is your responsibility to communicate that. It doesn’t have to be a confrontation at all, a simple “That actually hurts a little, can you try doing this instead?” will do the job nicely. Most people will be able to adapt perfectly, and those that can’t need to get out of your bedroom because they aren’t capable of dealing with someone who is as sensitive as you are.
Tight Foreskin
There are a lot of people who actually have a really tight foreskin. A lot of foreskin pulls itself back over the head of the penis as you become erect, but some is so tight that it only slides back slightly. This can lend itself to some painful encounters in several ways. If this happens to be your dilemma, you can do one of two things. You can opt to get circumcised (nooo!) or you can just accept that you enjoy bottoming and topping isn’t something that your body was built for in this way. It’s not a bad thing, and it does happen, and honestly if you really enjoy being on the receiving end of the arrangement there is nothing wrong with letting that be your default at all, especially if it would cause you pain to force it otherwise.
I hope you can make it work though, because the guys out there with foreskin who prefer topping can atest to how amazing it feels, and I would certainly want you to enjoy that if it’s possible! Just remember to think before cramming your most valuable jewel into a hole and you should be golden.
i grew up with a phimosis, an aberration that can happen naturally or after a circumcision that makes your foreskin too tight to pull back behind the glans. in my case it was because my parents did not properly adjust my bandages after my circumcision as a baby and it healed wonky. i was about 12 when i finally figured out something was wrong with my wiener, and 16 before i could muster the nerve to tell my mom and then a doctor. then i had to have a corrective circumcision. it was no fun but i’m really grateful i had the surgery, because now my cock is cut but fleshy and supple.
here’s the wiki site, complete with photos, but note that phimoses can look really different from one penis to the next (this one looks like his winky was twist tied–ow!), so you should probably see a doc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phimosis
thank for a great post, brandon, it will help many wieners :)
I wish there was some type of information like this a few yrs back lol. I myself and uncut (thank god) and to my surprise a lot of guys out there like it! :) The sensitivity is even more so beyond what is explained in this reply, but definitely not in a bad way. I remember the first time i tried to top and it hurt SOOOO bad. I even bled because i ripped some part of my foreskin. I was determinded to top and now it definitely is the GREATEST feeling. My bf loves that im uncut and he DEFINITELY knows how to work with it. Every second of a bj is orgasmic. Idk how it feels to be cut but i do know that sex is great lol! Never let some dude bring you down about being uncut. We were born this way so we are ALL NATURAL! Fuck them fake cut dudes (no offense to anyone) but im proud of who i am and NOBODY is gonna change that. Thanx =P
“And for those of you who think uncut is gross, you really need to get over that. An uncut dick is an excellent source of pleasure for the party involved and can lead the way to some hot sessions in bed.”
Amen.
Brandon B.: The advocate for uncut men everywhere. We appreciate your support.