As I have mentioned before, I am pretty picky when it comes to porn that I actually enjoy watching. I’ve been in the industry for several years now and I can safely say that there is more bad porn than good. I say this with a heavy heart, but also praise those companies that stand out as the cream of the crop in the gay porn world. Which brings me to my next topic; Whoever Hot House hired to do their marketing needs a trophy, or perhaps an appropriate medal. Before I watched Masterpiece, there was an ad for another release of theirs. Honestly, after watching the ad, I was wishing I had picked up that porn instead! It looked hot, the models looked like babes, and there were power tools. How could I NOT pick up WOODWORK as my next porn to review?
The tough guys of Hot House are back, and this time they have all types of tools besides their god given ones! This feature was directed by Robert Drake and features Hot House exclusives Kyle King, Ty LeBeouf, Tony Mecelli, Ross Hurston, and one of my favorites Francesco D’Macho. It also features Tim Fruger, Tyler Johnson, and Eddie Diaz.
It opens up with Tyler Johnson and Francesco D’Macho. Tyler uses what turns out to be the only power tool in the entire porn by sawing a board in half. The surroundings make it clear that the men of WOODWORK are building, what appears to be, a giant empty room that serves no purpose except for having sex with each other.
Here we have a conundrum: Francesco has the most adorable blue eyes and smile of all the Hot House men, in my opinion. Tyler on the other hand is possibly the hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen. He clearly knows that I am in love with him too, because the entire time he has this smug look on his face as though he knows he’s a babe. He offers Francesco “something to eat” and Francesco grins and laughs, and accepts!
Francesco starts by sucking off Tyler. Something Tyler is really good at besides making my mouth hang open is “pillow talk”. He is very aggressive in his speech. He forces Francesco to deep throat his thick dick and says to him with a steady gaze “All the way in. All the way.”
I’m rarely a fan of spit but sometimes it can be hot. Tyler spits on his own dick as Francesco is sucking it and keeps forcing Francesco’s head to deep throat him. Francesco struggles with it a bit — and rightfully so!
Tyler announces “Now I’m hungry” and they swap. Tyler has some serious bedroom eyes going on here as he deep throats Francesco with little problem. One of the best scenes is here, as Francesco aggressively face-fucks Tyler and Tyler, without flinching, not only deep throats Francesco but also stares up at him with an expression that can only be interpreted as a challenge.
After a bit of that Tyler says “I’m still hungry” and flips Francesco around to eat his ass. One of the things that is specific to Hot House porns is that the boys are dirty-birds. Tyler is rubbing Francesco’s hole and then puts the finger in his mouth. “Tastes good” he tells Francesco. Francesco insists on finding out for himself as he takes Tyler’s finger and samples his own hole. Love it or leave it, if you wash your asses guys then you would know that it actually is pretty hot to do.
Tyler enters him and uses Francesco’s jock strap as leverage. Some more dirty talk that deserves an award: “Take that fucking dick. Get down. Stay the fuck down!” If you ever want to have sex with me, memorize that phrase please..
Francesco is a champ throughout the scene, and even asks for it harder. He gets tired of Tyler teasing him with his cock and lays on his back so Tyler can finish the job. Tyler finishes all over Francesco’s face.
If anything I’d say that Tyler’s only downside is that he isn’t a very creative top. He makes up for this in every other way though, and you can tell the Francesco was more than happy with what he got out of him.
This is when Ross Hurston comes in. I usually like Ross a lot, but in this he plays the boss, and when he walks in on his two employees doing it he does something that makes me very sad — he fires Tyler! NOOO!
He makes Francesco make up for this incident, of course. “If I’m paying for blowjobs, then suck this.” He does for a little bit, but Ross quickly instructs Francesco to flip over so he can finish the job that Tyler left undone.
The doggie style here seems to last a while and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Just when you are sick of it and getting a little bored, Francesco decides to take charge and he shoves Ross off of him, demanding now that Ross turn around and get fucked. That’s why I love Francesco — he can be a passive bottom but also an aggressive top!
After getting fucked by his employee from behind for a while, Ross then sits on Francesco’s dick and bounces. Something I want to note here; when you watch this scene, please make note of Ross’s perineum and pubes. This is what I prefer all my guys to look like.
He climbs off of Francesco when he is close and he finishes his typically massive load all over himself. Francesco gets the stamina award from me — grats! He finishes himself off and the boss seems to have forgiven the infraction.
Scene three feature Ty LeBeouf and Eddie Diaz. I love Ty, mostly because he just has an adorable face, but also because he has the whitest ass in America. It’s fun to look at and from the looks of Eddie’s expression in this scene, it’s fun to fuck too.
Eddie has a gun tattoo coming out of his pants that I have mixed feelings about. I want to say it’s hot, but I don’t know. Anyway, he sucks off Ty and gives him what I refer to as a “Drool Tool.” This is where there is so much spit on the guy’s dick that when you take your mouth away from it it starts to drip everywhere.
This scene is kinda slow, especially after watching the first two. The whole time I am sitting here waiting for Ross to come in, fire someone, and then fuck the other guy.
Ty bounces Eddie’s dick a bit and laughs. Cute to see someone having fun with it, but it seems a little forced. Eddie flips Ty around and eats his ass good, and then follows up with “You want me to fuck that ass now that it’s nice and wet?” Of course Ty does as he bends over to brace himself against a poll coming out of the floor.
He takes it for only a short period of time which is typical Ty. He flips Eddie around and starts fucking him. I really don’t like watching Ty top usually because it’s usually kinda boring. He’s such a cutie pie, you just want to see him get slammed. Apparently Eddie agrees because that doesn’t last for long either.
Eddie has Ty sit on him and let’s Ty bounce til he’s close. Ty finishes in what appears to be the best orgasm of his life — body shaking, muscles tensing, and all without being 100% firm! The typical result of an extreme, heavy prostate orgasm. Eddie finishes himself off and we are thankfully moving on.
Scene four is a three way, and as I’ve mentioned before they are always hit or miss. Getting the chemistry right isn’t always easy for one on one’s, so imagine having to get it right for three people. But Francesco is back for this one so I am already excited.
Tim Kruger and Francesco scold Kyle King for being late, and after watching what they do to him I made a mental note to be late more often. They start by making Kyle suck them both off, which he seems more than happy to do. That is until they start forcing him to deep throat. He chokes non stop which just makes Francesco happy.
At one point, Kyle is sucking off Tim delicately and Francesco — not having that — shoves Kyle’s head several times deep into Tim’s crotch! No half assing it around Mr. D’Macho!
I sympathize with Kyle though because Tim has one of those dicks that are strictly banned from my bedroom. It’s really long, and really thick, and I frankly have nothing to prove by dealing with beasts like that. Sorry if this disqualifies you, we can still go shopping together or something.
Francesco starts to fuck Kyle from behind while Kyle sucks off Tim. Kyle is a lot of men’s dream bottom because he has that “I need to pay some bills” quality about him. He complains a lot, and he whines, and he seems to not really be into it, but he will do everything you tell him to do.
Francesco absolutely obliterates Kyle and Kyle’s whimpering is really hot, but then Tim decides it’s his turn. I think this is where Kyle started reevaluating his decision to enter the porn industry. The sounds that Kyle makes while Tim is nailing him from behind are borderline unholy. Tim doesn’t care though and goes hard and deep into his ass, the whole time Francesco grins with his dick basically just laying in Kyle’s screaming mouth.
They get Kyle on his back and then go back and forth fucking him. Kyle always seems really happy when Francesco is fucking him and then immediately starts to bug when Tim steps up to bat. This goes back and forth several times till they both finish on Kyle’s face. Hmmm on second thought, maybe I wont be late from now on…
My only real gripe about this scene is Tim. He’s one of those guys that I think they just hired because he has a big dick. He isn’t creative, he had no personality, and one step further he was so white he was semi-transparent. I’d give him another shot but if this is an example of how he is, there are better models to put into scenes.
Ross is back now for the final scene. He approaches Tony Mecelli with his paycheck and offers him a bonus. Tony reluctantly accepts, which makes me assume that his character is supposed to be both straight and poor, because if Ross Hurston offered me money to have sex with him, I’d probably start crying out of joy.
Sadly the scene was another stinker. It was really only 4 parts:
Tony sucks Ross.
Ross sits on Tony’s dick, which goes on forever.
Ross gets fucked from behind, which also lasts forever.
Tony finishes on Ross’s face.
When I say that there really wasn’t much else to it, I’m not even lying. If Ross wasn’t being fucked the whole time I’m pretty sure he would have been bored. Tony is cute and has arms as big as my entire body, but this scene was kinda dull and was a sad way to end the porn. Oh well, at least someone besides AIG got a bonus (topical humor!!).
Pros:
Tattoos
Tyler Johnson, my future husband
Great deep throat scenes
Great rape-esque three way
Condoms in every scene
Cons:
Several slow scenes
A couple models that weren’t interesting to watch
Wrap up:
I really do like Hot House, but this porn seems to lack something that they usually have in their flicks. I like that they used some models that weren’t exclusive to them, but they were hit or miss and mostly missed. Tyler Johnson was a great addition to the flick and the usual exclusives did a great job, but the outside models took away from their otherwise great scenes. All in all I’d say that this porn is only worth buying for two, maybe three scenes, which in this economy basically means; pass.
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