the INQUEERY

I don’t understand how people can commit to only being a TOP or only being a BOTTOM. Well, I take that back; I can understand how people can. I just don’t understand why people do.

I believe that it can be easily argued that everybody is a top. This is to say that everyone jerks themselves off, and really a hand is everyone’s favorite easily accessible butt to fuck. You are topping your hand. It feels good. You like it and it makes you cum. You are a top because you could, if you allowed yourself to ignore labels, fuck another person in the ass and get pleasure from it the same way you get pleasure from yourself. People can get behind the argument to an extent when they allow themselves to think about it.

Being a bottom, however, is viewed as a bit demeaning. It’s harder to convince someone who claims to only TOP to BOTTOM or even experiment with the butt. That’s because playing with your prostate isn’t as simple as jerking off is — you can’t just reach into your butt and rub your prostate without lube, relaxing the muscles, etc. This extra effort keeps so many people away from playing with their butts and it makes me so sad. You are missing out on a world of pleasure! I tell my customers all the time; be the first to find a man’s prostate and he’s yours for life.

I myself do what is called “switching” — which is when you are essentially versatile, but the ideal sexual situation would involve one person getting fucked and then switching positions with the other person. This way both parties get their asses played with and both parties cum all over the place in dramatic ecstasy at the end of it all. I update my profiles based on what I am in the mood for at any given time, but they are usually left at versatile, and that is because I enjoy both. I obviously enjoy BOTTOMING, but I also like it when I get to TOP someone else.

This idea that BOTTOMING is somehow demeaning is ridiculous. You, as the person BOTTOMING, have just as much power in the exchange as the TOP does. You are both men. You are attractive to your partner. Act like it — don’t just lay on your back and let him treat you like his hand.

Everyone has heard the term “power bottom”. I don’t like the term. It’s taking someone who is BOTTOMING and doing it well and painting them with a condescending nick name.

A man is meant to BOTTOM with you, not for you. / A man is meant to TOP with you, not for you.

My wrap up: Don’t be lazy. Don’t limit yourself to one position. You are missing out on the other side. We all have our preferences of course, but a preference doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. If you are self conscious about your abilities at being the TOP or being the BOTTOM, just remember that communication makes everything 100% easier — mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Go get some.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 18th, 2009 at 4:24 pm and is filed under Sex Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.