When you work in a sex toy store people can often draw some very drastic conclusions about you.
Keeping reading to read my soap box about dating in this industry.
I can’t remember the last date I went on where my job wasn’t the main topic of the evening. I always try to let that information come out later on in the night, but it’s usually one of the first things that is asked and from there people typically run with it. “So that must be fun!” “I bet you get a lot of freaks there!” “Do you have a lot of toys?”
Yes, not really and yes. Now what do you do?
I understand the reaction, so I don’t dismiss it in a mean way. It’s not your average job, and it’s even less common to find someone who is as passionate about the industry as I am. It’s just frustrating that it provides so much fodder, and yet really says nothing about me. And that’s what a date is for — getting to know me, not my industry — right?
As excited as people are about this type of information, they can also be very judgmental with it. I can’t count the times that I have seen a shift in someone’s eyes once it’s revealed what I do, from “Ok I am going to get to know this person” to “Passive social polite distance; I would NEVER date someone who slings dildos in a lowly sex shop!” Frankly it’s both good and bad. It’s bad because it’s a little uncomfortable and annoying for me to feel like I have to defend myself on a date, but it’s also good to know that information right off the bat, because if what I do is CRAZY to you, then lord knows how incompatible we are in other ways.
Then there are those that come into my store and flirt with me. I understand the impulse. Here is an attractive man who sells sex toys. Obviously he likes sex. I will try to sex him.
I am also on the clock. And a manager. I have things to do and employees below me to set a good example for. It really doesn’t reflect well on me to stand there on the clock and flirt with a stranger while ignoring my projects. That’s not to say that there aren’t people that I would love to flirt with from time to time. We do get some babes that come in, of course. But I am on the clock and working for the company, not working it.
I got a Missed Connection once from someone who I thought was cute that came in. I wrote him and said hi, and he very shyly responded saying that he never thought I’d see it. I responded and never heard back from him. Now what the hell is that?
Probably the most unsettling is the fact that people assume that all you are into is hooking up. I like sex, yes. But I have goals that I am working towards and priorities in place. I really don’t mind romps, but in all honesty I am and always have been more of a one man man. Not because I am really after a boyfriend, I just work a lot and don’t have enormous amounts of time to spend going on first dates. And let’s be honest — hooking up with strangers is just plain boring for the most part. I prefer connecting with someone and having good sex, not just a quick nut here and there.
I’ll still fuck them though, but I will also complain about it later (et voilà.).
